I Let the Words of My Youth Fade Away

I cannot remember the last time I wrote an essay or a book chapter where the original introduction survived the final edit. I ramble when I write, yet I value concise writing. By the time I get to the heart of a topic, the first several paragraphs of a piece don’t always fit. I needed them to get me to where I wanted to go, but the reader doesn’t need them to come in behind me. Overall I delete more than half of what I put to paper, but it is a necessary part of the process. “The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you’ve gotten the fish you can forget the trap… Words exist because of meaning. Once you’ve gotten the meaning, you can forget the words.”* 

From what I have read about book proposals, the proper way to pitch a non-fiction book to a publisher or literary agent is 1) outline the entire book, 2) complete a few chapters, 3) submit query letters, and 4) have a full proposal ready to go should a publisher or agent express interest. The goal is to have a contract in hand before dedicating the next few years to a writing project that might not otherwise see the light of day.

I, however, cannot write that way, or at least I choose not to write that way. First of all, I do not have enough name recognition for a publisher to want a contract with me based simply on an idea. Secondly, if I did find a publisher prior to completion of a manuscript, he or she would hold me to a deadline. Deadlines were fine when I wrote papers in graduate school, but now I want to be the one who decides when a manuscript is ready.

My distaste of deadlines is linked to the fact that the pace of my writing has slowed with age. My best writing today is neither better nor worse than my best writing from forty years ago, but it does take me four to five times longer. I am retired now, so the time factor is largely irrelevant. I do, however, sometimes wonder what would have happened had I started writing full-time back in my prime.

• This Taoist quote comes from the Inner Chapters (Chapter 26) of Chuang Tzu. Chuang Tzu is the second most important ancient Tao text, second only to the Tao Te Ching itself. The final line of the quote is, “Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?”