I overheard Manyu talking on the phone. She was speaking in Mandarin, so I understood very little. At one point, I did hear her say, “Steve hěn gāo xìng,”which I knew to mean “Steve is happy.” The comment surprised me, as I wasn’t particularly happy that day. Nor was I unhappy. I was just my usual steady and unexpressive self.
When Manyu finished her phone call, I did not ask her why she thought I was happy. I’d been eavesdropping on her conversation (as much as I could eavesdrop on any conversation being held in Mandarin), so I did not consider it appropriate to ask for an explanation. Also, if Manyu thought that I was in a favorable mood that day, I couldn’t come up with a good reason to have her think otherwise.
My limited Mandarin vocabulary includes two words for happiness. One is gāo xìng (高興), as in “Steve hěn gāo xìng.” The second is kuài lè (快樂), as in “Xīn nián kuài lè,” which means “Happy New Year.” When I heard Manyu use gāo xìng during her phone call, it occurred to me that she uses gāo xìng frequently, kuài lè hardly ever. Over dinner that night, I asked her, “I have a language question for you. Do gāo xìng and kuài lè mean the same thing?” My asking Manyu to clarify Mandarin words was a reversal of roles for us. She is the one who, when speaking English, asks about nuances within the language. If I am speaking Mandarin, the last thing I care about is nuance.
Without hesitation, Manyu replied, “They aren’t same. Kuài lè is happiness, and gāo xìng is gladness.” She’d said it with such certainty and such decisiveness that it was obvious that she’d made a clear distinction not only between between the Mandarin words “kuài lè” and “gāo xìng,” but also between the English words of “happiness” and “gladness.”
In listening to Manyu’s explanation, I went from having a casual curiosity about a couple of Mandarin words to questioning my understanding of their English equivalents. I didn’t think that I used “happy” and “glad” interchangeably, but neither had I drawn a sharp distinction between them. If pushed to differentiate the two, I suppose I would define gladness, and therefore gāo xìng, as a fleeting warm feeling that can occur frequently and at any time. Happiness/kuài lè, on the other hand, is something deeper, a lasting state of mind that is more a part of a person’s being. I can be glad that the Packers won their game last week; I am happy that I married well and raised an exceptional daughter.
Maybe, although I am not sure about this, gladness gets worn on the sleeve and happiness does not. It would explain why I feel that I am a happy person in retirement, but others don’t always see it.
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